Trips

As of last year, I had been to 26 countries, but I had not travelled much within Australia, except along the East Coast (usually to the same places, involving a lot of alcohol and/or other substances) dozens of times. Now obviously the remote, the mysterious, the inexplicable is more interesting and stays with you for longer, but my shunning Australia as a tourist destination had become unforgiveable.
I've recently done two trips, so for all my international readers [Quite a lot in Turkey and Japan for some reason], I'll explain where I went and what I did.
My first trip was to Australia's red centre [Alice Springs in the Northern Territory and surrounding areas] on The Ghan train which left from Adelaide, capital of "The Defense State", South Australia. Australia is a very arid country; 2/3 of it is covered by desert., and the Red Centre is so named because it is filled with red rock, red sand, red sunsets and (where they are successful) red animals. And green spinifex, which we'll ignore. It is a beautiful area which contains Ayers Rock, the most incredible rock in the world. A gigantic clump which formed from a now-eroded mountain range. I recommend that all go here, as you see the Olgas too (one of the 7 natural wonders of the world).
Many Australians are unaware that Australia was originally inhabited by up to 690 different Aboriginal tribes, which spoke a staggering 250+ distinct languages, many of which are completely different. Most Aboriginals (sensibly) lived along the coasts, but those that couldn't eeked out an unlikely existence in a climatically extreme area. People often mock the Aboriginal people because their way of life didn't change for a long time (they did not invent many of the things that European settlers did). However, it should be pointed out that (aside from the small numbers of people on the coast) the Aboriginals couldn't grow crops due to the irregularity of rain, and struggled just to survive...Most of their artwork and myths are related to the scarcity of water and available food and how to find it. They also have some judicial autonomy in some regions, so tourists...behave yourselves. One wrong move and the Australian Court may give the Aboriginals the right to deal out tribal justice to you, which could involve spearing your leg...or, if you were Aboriginal and had earnt a death sentence but ran away, killing your next of kin [mother, father etc].

My second trip was to Melbourne, in Victoria. I also went along the Great Ocean Road (a road built by WW2 vets whom the government had to do something with), which has some beautiful views of the coast (including the Twelve Apostles).
We passed towns which hold races where drunk people swim from a lighthouse to a pub at night, past the towns like Torquay where US soldiers based in Australia invented surfing after WW2, and where 'surfing' clothes brands like Billabong and Rip Curl started up.
There was a town, all of the buildings in which burnt to the ground during fires, except that of an Austrian engineer who had specifically designed his house to survive a fire. Sitting on the veranda of his odd Bahaus home as the fire consumed everyone else's home in the town, he must have felt vindicated.
The Aboriginals came up again too. There was a convict and four fellow-escapees from prison who wandered around. This convict's four fellow-escapees became so desperate that they voluntarily returned to prison. The convict staggered on, walking through the town 1 hour's drive from Melbourne that is now Geelong. After falling unconscious, he woke up surrounded by Aboriginals, who nursed him back to health. He spent 30 years amongst the Aboriginals. then, 30 years on, the British recognised him as the escaped prisoner. In return for not going to prison, he helped translate the Aboriginal language in negotations in which the Aboriginal people sold the entire plot of land that is now Geelong to the British for a sack of hay. The Aboriginals had not understood the concept that man can own the land. They would be exploited because of this.
Another random fact: "Fair dinkum" is an Australian slang term which roughly means "Do you mean that seriously?" It came from Chinese goldminers who came to Australia in the 19th century goldrush, who used to excitedly shout "Den Kum" (sounds like 'dinkum'), which means "Real gold" in Cantonese, so you can see where the inquiry about the sincerity of the speaker comes from. Ok I'm as bored as you are. -- update, no, this language fact is apparently not true. folk etymology. but i'm leaving it in because it sounds funny.