What to do with my life?

Science can't answer every question, but it can answer any meaningful question, because there is no finite list of all the questions that one could ask. [EVERY is different to ALL!]
A big strength and weakness of mine is my desire to rationalise everything - every tragedy and every joy. A sense of power in my life is important, and through understanding the world I acquire the power to control things. But I cannot control my friends or lovers, and I probably can't control myself either. If my heart just pumps, circulating blood, and my eyes just view, causing visuals, then my brain just works, causing thoughts.

The distinction between man and a machine is the greatest illusion you have ever experienced. Man proves that is not a question of IF machines could think, but what kinds of machines could think. So the myth of our free will as well as the meaningfulness of your name over time is so deeply entrenched that it re-asserts itself however often it may shatter. [People, preferring a consistent paradox, integrate their personalities in to an "I", rather than have multiple personalities]
Which means that the Buddha was right about one thing. Every serious artist has a moment when they realise how retarded they are. Every conscious animal suffers, if only because of the illusion that you will eventually understand and control yourself. The primary advantage of emotion today is that it quickly terminates our reasoning processes. In its absence our brains would rhuminate on one hard question until our deaths as computers assigned to find the last decimal place of Pi will do.

You don't have to suffer as much as The Buddha did though if you analyse things carefully, check periodically for cancer, and have sex. One of his great mistakes, as I understand it, was to think that happiness can come only from within [Correct me if this is a misinterpretation]. It is exasperatingly contradictory to think that all matter is connected and yet to also believe that something should attempt to exist in isolation, so it is analytically false that destroying your ego, which is connected to everything else, could create happiness. His task could never have been complete, the poor guy.

A human brain MUST segment reality in to categories so that the aspects of reality that you're interested in can be communicated using language. It slices up time, space and matter/thoughts, creating words like "green", "day", "Lance", and "ignores".
So awareness is different to thought. Wow, that feels accomplished. I'm off to party.

-- The TUBE: Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination